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Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

‘Buddy and Me’

Itinerary for

Beares and Lubners store visits

Store Beares/Lubners  Date at store Time at store  
Middelburg Beares 30 Aug 10:00 – 13:00
Witbank Beares 31 Aug 10:00 – 12:30
Witbank Lubners 31 Aug 13:00 – 14:30
Witbank Beares 31 Aug 15:00 – 16:30
Brits Beares 2 Sept 11:00 – 13:30
Brits (Platinum Mall) Beares 2 Sept 14:15 – 15:30
Temba City Beares 5 Sept 10:30 – 12:30
Mabopane Beares 5 Sept 13:30 – 15:30
Mhube Max City Beares 6 Sept 10:30 – 12:30
Silverton Beares 6 Sept 13:30 – 15:30
Pretoria North Beares 7 Sept 10:30 – 12:30
Quagga Centre Beares 7 Sept 13:30 – 15:30
Gezina Beares 8 Sept 10:30 – 12:30
Arcadia Beares 8 Sept 13:30 – 15:30
Pretoria City Beares 9 Sept 10:30 – 12:30
V/D Walt Street Beares 9 Sept 13:00 – 14:30
Midrand Beares 13 Sept 11:00 – 14:00
Tsakane Beares 14 Sept 11:00 – 13:30
Secunda (Fisthers Square) Beares 15 Sept 10:00 – 13:30
Secunda (Shop 1 Steyn Street) Beares 15 Sept 13:30 – 15:30
Kriel Beares 16 Sept 10:00 – 12:30
Bethal Beares 16 Sept 13:30 – 15:30
Ermelo Beares 19 Sept 10:30 – 12:30
Piet Retief Beares 20 Sept 10:00 – 13:00
Vryheid Beares 22 Sept 13:00 – 15:30
Pongola Beares 23 Sept 13:30 – 16:00
Mtubatuba Beares 26 Sept 13:00 – 15:00
Richards Bay Beares 27 Sept 10:00 – 12:00
Empangeni (Maxwell) Beares 27 Sept 12:30 – 14:00
Empangeni (Plaza) Beares 27 Sept 14:30 – 16:00
Ulundi Beares 28 Sept 11:00 – 13:30
Eshowe Beares 29 Sept 10:30 – 12:00
Sundumbili Beares 29 Sept 13:30 – 15:30
Stanger Beares 30 Sept 10:30 -13:00
Phoenix Beares 30 Sept 14:00 – 16:00
Kwamashu (Bridge City) Beares 3 Oct 10:00 – 12:30
Durban (West Street) Lubners 4 Oct 10:30 – 12:30
Durban (West Street) – FINAL Beares 4 Oct 13:00 – 15:30


Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

  • To see the ‘Buddy and Me’ scheduled itinerary details for the period 30th August – 4th October 2011 see blog 50
  • To read the shocking details of the Upington horror story – The Hynie Dick Story – regarding the ‘Upington savage pedophile’ see blog 35
  • To read details of the ‘savage’ the police are looking for in connection with the rape of a 3 year little girl, see blog 39
  • To read the heart breaking story by a mother (Cathy Kenney) of the rape of  her 3 year-old daughter see blog 38
  • To read the storey of Natasha who at 10 years-of age was brutally raped and murdered and after serving a very short portion of his sentence, the ‘State’ wants to release the savage who did it, from prison, see blog 10 (November 2010)
  • To read ‘Birds’ story about her incredible courage to face her ‘step-father’ who she looked up to and loved as a ‘father’ who abused her and her love, as told by her mother – Elise – see blog 42

 

So the week started for ‘Buddy and Me’ by first thanking the General Manager of the Protea Winkler Hotel in White River, William Bruntnell for his kind and generous support to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project by providing me with incredible accommodation for the weekend

 William is the cool looking dude with the red jacket on – and then I headed for Nelspruit where ‘Buddy and Me’ visited the Beares store there.

At the Beares store I was introduced to an amazing lady by the name of Prudence Lephoto who runs the ‘SOS Children’s Village’ which is situated a short way outside of Nelspruit and I was taken to see this incredibly amazing initiative.

 

The ‘SOS Children’s Village’ – which is actually a ‘Safe House’ – was officially opened on the 6th October 2006 and consists of 10 houses all built in close proximity with each house being able to house 10 children. At present the ‘Village’ is providing shelter to 85 kids ranging from new born baby’s to 18 year-olds. All the children residing in the ‘Village’ are ‘vulnerable children’ who have been subjected to some sort of abuse or other and I was told that a large number are victims of rape and sexual abuse. Each house has a ‘house mother’ who resides in the house and the kids all partake in the duties to clean the house and to cook, even the guys.

So to Prudence and your wonderful group of ‘House Mothers’, thank you for giving me the privilege and honour of being able to visit your incredible ‘SOS Children’s Village’ and for the amazing work you are doing for the kids, you are all Angels, and to Thabo Vermulen (Beares store manager Nelspruit) and his really friendly staff, thanks very much for arranging for me to meet Prudence and be given the opportunity to visit this truly amazing initiative.

While in Nelspruit I also visited the GRIP offices (Greater Rape Intervention Programme) where I spent some time chatting to the management and staff and obtained a lot of information on what is happening with regard to the rape and sexual abuse of children in the Greater Nelspruit area.

 So meet the incredibly wonderful people of GRIP. The work that this organisation is doing in the Greater Nelspruit region, in my humble opinion, provides victims of child rape as well as victims of domestic violence in general with the best support structure in South Africa. So to the ladies and men who dedicate so much of their personal time to assisting victims of this despicable crime in the Greater Nelspruit area, you have the ‘Buddy and Me – Angels’ award. I have been provided with a document entitled “A Case Study – GRIP” which provides a mound of information on GRIP and so once I have had an opportunity to study it I will be posting a blog on it, so stay tuned to the www.buddyandme.co.za website for more info on this incredible organisation and the essential services they provide for child rape victims and victims of domestic violence.

The other important visit was to the R&R Workshops, where Thabo (Beares manager) arranged with his friend Ralton who owns R&R to weld a break in Buddy’s exhaust system,

 so this is one of Ralton’s competent mechanics, Wayne, undertaking some surgery on Buddy’s exhaust system. So thanks guys Buddy is now once again purring like a Lion!

I checked into the Protea Nelspruit Hotel

and was soon settled in my lovely comfortable accommodation.

 

Obviously while in Nelspruit I met up with the Round Tablers of Nelspruit who have been amazing in providing ‘Buddy and Me’ with an incredible support structure, and after talking at a Round Table function in the evening I was presented with the Round Table banner (In this instance a very large one) by the Chairman of Round Table Nelspruit, Simon Harrison.

My next visit was to the Beares store in Malelane where I once again had a great time chatting to Lucky Shabalala, the Beares store Manager and his friendly staff.

I had a particularly interesting chat with one of the staff members, Sebenzile who told me that the rape and sexual abuse of children in the near-by township of Kamdnada is occurring at an horrendous rate and that it is very seldom reported because the community have lost complete faith in the justice system, as in the police, courts and prison services.

I get involved in many discussions of many diverse subjects during my travels and one ‘discussion’ I got involved in while in Malelane was concerning a news item broadcasted on SABC TV news on Wednesday night (17th August) concerning the fact that our esteemed government claims that they are going to create 5 million jobs, but on the SABC TV ‘Morning Live’ news bulletin on the morning of the 19th it was announced that the SABC (which is a kwazi-government institution) intends retrenching / laying off thousands of employees??? So once again it proves “talk is cheap”.

From Malelane ‘Buddy and Me’ headed further out towards the Swaziland and Mozambique borders to the Beares store in the Nkomazi Plaza. Here I was given the opportunity and privilege of addressing a large group of guests from various walks of life who are all involved in some way or another in providing support to child rape victims.

 This is a small portion of the group, I was actually standing in the middle of them with people seated in the lovely comfortable lounge sweets all around me. So to Rudi Mocke, the Beares store manager thank you for arranging such a magic day for me. Also thanks for arranging the lady from the ‘Daily Sun’, they did a great article and in-fact I was pleasantly surprised when I was driving in Groblersdal on Monday 29th and a newspaper sales chap standing on the corner of an intersection ran up to me waving a copy of the paper saying “You must buy the paper, you are in it” and proceeded to show me a large photo and article in the paper, so many thanks for that.  

So meet Rudi and his merry bunch of lady’s and the one happy chappy, thanks for a great day guys and girls.

The next morning ‘Buddy and Me’ bid farewell to the management and staff of the Protea Nelspruit Hotel

 and drove out of Nelspruit and headed out on the incredibly beautiful and scenic drive through to the wonderful town called Barberton and here the Beares manager Elsabé Van Rooyen did a sterling job in arranging for me to meet some interesting people who provided me with contact details of a number of people in the area who are providing support to victims of child rape as well as victims of all forms of domestic violence, which is apparently happening at a humungous rate in the area.

One of the most amazing bits of information I learnt is the fact that the ‘Department of Social Development’ is under taking campaigns and handing out condoms at the schools to pupils in the area, including those in grades as low as grade 8 (standard 6) who are in the 12 – 13 year-old age group. According to the department, “too many school girls are requiring maternity leave”, mind boggling!!!

I visited the GRIP-VSR (Victim Support Room) at the police station as well as the GRIP-VSR at the Barberton hospital where I was once again totally impressed with the services provided by this organisation and I am convinced that because of GRIP the Greater Nelspruit region has undoubtedly the best support structure for victims of child rape as well as victims of domestic violence, well done ladies and gentlemen you are doing an incredibly wonderful job.

So to Elsabé and her energetic bunch of great people at Beares in Barberton, you have mine and Buddy’s grateful thanks for arranging such a magic day for our visit to Barberton.

After a great night with the Round Tablers of Barberton, the next morning ‘Buddy and Me’ headed for Belfast where I was hosted accommodation on a farm courtesy of friends of the Ermelo Round Table Chairman Stephan Mare, his friends being Stephen and Wilma Hugo and they live on a ‘Hadeco’ ‘bulb flower farm’ which is situated about 5 kilometres outside of Belfast.

 The next morning I visited the Beares store in Belfast and here, apart from the interesting information I obtained from a member of the SAPS-FCS unit (Family and Child, sexual Offences unit); I was provided with devastating information on a recent case of child rape by Loudina Viviers the Beares store manager, the facts of which are mind boggling to put it mildly.

Her niece was 5 years old when it was identified that she had been molested and raped by her step-father. It took the case 5 years to get to court with the child being subjected to immense trauma each time the case was remanded and he was eventually acquitted because the child, who was by then almost 10 years old, could not remember specific details such as the clothes he had been wearing, where certain items of furniture were located in the room and other trivial details. And then ‘they’ want to tell me that the victims are not being let down by the pathetic system???

While in Belfast I also got to visit a ‘shelter’ for orphan kids who are living with grand parents and other family members who cannot afford nursery schools and crèches.

The ‘shelter’ which is named ‘Funda Children’s Safe House’ is owned and run by an amazing man by the name of David Ka-Nkosi and provides shelter for 43 children aged between 1 and 12 years of age. The reason I was particularly impressed with the ‘shelter’ is because in my blog 49 on my website I wrote about the fact that on my extensive travels around townships, I frequently see small children in the 2 – 6 year-old age group wandering around streets, pathways and desolate areas, alone, and commented that “no wonder there are so many small children being abducted and raped” and so David’s ‘safe house’ keeps these vulnerable children off the streets, so well done with what you are doing it is an incredible initiative.

When it came time to bid farewell to the Beares Belfast staff and take a photo,

I could not help having a photograph taken of me with what must be the best looking bear I have seen to date,

 so meet ‘bear’ Jacque Davies.

The weekend was spent in a log cabin on a game farm owned by the Chairman of Round Table Loskop (Groblersdal) Carlo Fourie and his lovely wife Colene (other wise known to Carlo, as Angelica )

 and it was a very busy weekend with me attending social functions at the Round Table club house as well as potjies  

and being invited to attend a ‘Horing Fees’ in support of the ‘Save the Rhino’ campaign

and I got to speak to a lot of people including DJ Miguel Proenca of Jacaranda 94.2 Fm radio – Miguel is the cool dude with the red shirt on my right.

The Tablers of Round Table Loskop RT-233 made a generous contribution to Buddy’s very depleted petrol budget and also arranged for Buddy to have a service done at NTT Toyota Groblersdal, so to the Tablers of Loskop 233 you have mine and Buddy’s heartfelt thanks for your generosity, friendship and incredible hospitality.

Well that about covers the activities of ‘Buddy and Me’ for the week and so all that’s left for me to do is bid you farewell until I do my next blog, so keep well, stay safe and of course KEEP ALL CHILDREN SAFE!!

Caring regards from

‘Buddy (The Beach Buggy)

And

Me’ (Steve Heath)

Please send all your comments and opinions to: steve@buddyandme.co.za

Please note that all comments and opinions on the ‘Buddy and Me’ website and blogs are those of Steve Heath and not those of the sponsors to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project.


Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

  • To see the ‘Buddy and Me’ scheduled itinerary details for the period 21st July – 29th August 2011 see blog 45
  • To read the shocking details of the Upington horror story – The Hynie Dick Story – regarding the ‘Upington savage pedophile’ see blog 35
  • To read details of the ‘savage’ the police are looking for in connection with the rape of a 3 year little girl, see blog 39
  • To read the heart breaking story by a mother (Cathy Kenney) of the rape of  her 3 year-old daughter see blog 38
  • To read the storey of Natasha who at 10 years-of age was brutally raped and murdered and after serving a very short portion of his sentence, the ‘State’ wants to release the savage who did it, from prison, see blog 10 (November 2010)
  • To read ‘Birds’ story about her incredible courage to face her ‘step-father’ who she looked up to and loved as a ‘father’ who abused her and her love, as told by her mother – Elise – see blog 42

 

Hi to all ye ‘Buddy and Me’ supporters. So another week has been completed in the lives of ‘Buddy and Me’. I must tell you that the week ended with a devastating ‘accident’ for me which resulted in my not being able to get my website blog done on time, but I will explain in more detail what happened at the end of this blog.

So the week started with ‘Buddy and Me’ leaving Jo’burg on Tuesday morning in freezing cold weather. Fortunately my ‘guardian Angel’ was once again shinning down on ‘Buddy and Me’ and the rain and snow which was predicted in all weather forecasts did not materialise, but it was freezing cold never the less.

And it got colder as I travelled towards Burgersfort and Steelpoort and I battled to get out of Buddy to fill up in Stoffberg.

I was kindly hosted accommodation in Steelpoort, which is about 20 kilometres away from where I was going to visit the Burgersfort Beares store on Wednesday morning, by the mother and father of a friend of mine (Ryan Robins who is the President of the Derelicts Motor Cycle Club in Germiston) Lenske and Thorn (Bugs) Buglass.

So meet Lenske and Cadac sniffing out the trailers wheels.

Wednesday morning Lenske, who is a facilitator for the local schools, asked to be able to join me on my visit to the Beares store in Burgersfort as well as visits to the local hospital, police and an NGO in one of the local townships. Unfortunately MacDonald Mathethwa, the Beares store manager’s attempts at getting the local SAPS-FCS units head to attend a discussion with me failed, as she had done on my previous visit to the area in September 2009. After a very informative chat with MacDonald and his staff, Lenske and I bid the Beares staff farewell,

and as I will not take no for an answer we headed for the police station where I was determined to speak to someone to find out what is happening with the rape of children in the area and to establish what, if any, support structure is in place in the area to encourage mothers and children to report the crime of child rape.

After a bit of a shunt around, Lenske and I eventually ended up in the Station Commanders office and after explaining who I was and what I am doing and what I hope to achieve and how, he called for a lady investigating officer from the FCS unit, a constable ‘Veronica’ who proved to be very enlightening on what is happening in the area and went into great detail of what she believes is contributing to the ever increasing number of child rape cases taking place in the area, and I must say that this is one very dedicated policewoman who believes that my proposal for a solution to stopping the rape and sexual abuse of children “is right on the button”. I also established that there is no support structure of any kind in the area focusing on providing support to victims of child rape.

From many discussions with members of the South African Police Service it is very clear that even they believe that it’s not in the police’s or the governments best interests to implement support structures and systems to encourage mothers and children to report the rape and sexual abuse of children simply for the reason that if all cases were reported the statistics would reveal a shocking situation which would create a very emabarrassing situation for them. I have been told categorically by many members of the police service, and this includes senior offices, that if their statistics reveals large numbers of child rape cases being reported, this makes them “look bad” and they are rapped over the knuckles and hence in many areas police officers are discouraging mothers and children from reporting cases of child rape.

I have asked the question “Why are people, as in mothers and other family members, who are fully aware of the fact that a child is being raped and sexually abused, by family members, not being prosecuted to the full extent of the law under section 54 of the ‘Sexual Offences Act 32.2007’ (the section pertaining to the compulsory reporting of cases of the rape and sexual abuse of children) and the response is always “If the father is jailed for the rape of his daughter/step-daughter AND the mother is charged and jailed under section 54, who is going to feed the family (after-all we in South Africa do not possess a ‘Welfare Department’, well we do – but in name only – all they do is spend hundreds of millions of Rands buying votes for the government in the form of millions of grants)”.

 My response to this is: “Hypothetically, if I and my wife (hypothetically speaking because I do not have oneJ) went to a party in separate vehicles and after enjoying the pleasures of the party drove home and were both stopped in a road block and it was established that we were both under the influence of alcohol, would the police official at the road block say ‘Oh dear we cannot arrest you both because you are husband and wife and if I arrested and detained you both who will look after your children’ – I don’t think so!!!” So why is the law not being applied in respect of section 54?

From Burgersfort ‘Buddy and Me’ headed for Lydenburg where we witnessed the destruction caused by rioting, this is not in my book classified as ‘striking’, municipal workers. I have witnessed the blatant destruction of many towns in the form of municipal workers emptying garbage bins and garbage bags into the streets with an incredible amount of filth as well as damage to traffic lights and other property in a number of towns I have visited.

My visit to the Lydenburg Beares store resulted in my having one of the best and most in-depth press interviews I have ever had. This was with a lady journalist by the name of Narda Vermaak who is with the ‘Lowveld Media’ group and she promised to do an ‘exposé’ article on the project and to have it published in not only the ‘Lowvelder’ newspaper, which is circulated to the entire Mpumalanga region, but to have it published in 16 other publications affiliated with the ‘Lowveld Media’ group. So to Mike Matlou, the Beares store manager in Lydenberg, many thanks for arranging that,

so meet the great guys and gals of Beares Lydenburg.

To anyone reading the ‘Buddy and Me’ blogs, if you have any contacts within the media, in the form of TV (SABC – Mnet etc) or national newspapers, magazines etc please assist the project by mentioning the ‘Buddy and Me’ project to them so that we can get as much exposure to the fight against child rape as we possibly can, we need government to sit up and take responsibility for what they are NOT doing to eradicate this scourge of child rape from our society. I have constantly been sending emails to SABC (TV2 ‘Morning Live’ as well as ‘3 Talk with Noleen’ and Carte Blanche) but have had no success in attracting their attention as yet.

After passing over the ‘Longtom Pass’

(This is ‘Longtom’ the cannon placed on top of the mountain during the ‘Boer’ war in 1901), and witnessed the spectacular view of the lovely town of Sabie way-off down in the valley

 ‘Buddy and Me’ descended into, first, the town which I rate as the cleanest and most beautiful town in South Africa, Sabie, and then on to Hazyview  which was once in the same category as Sabie but unfortunately has deteriorated into the same state of destruction so many lovely farming and country towns to be found scattered around South Africa have found themselves in.  

On arriving in Hazyview I immediately headed for the Protea Hotel where I was kindly provided with incredible accommodation for the night and immediately on getting settled into my room I headed for the hotels bar and veranda where I was served a lovely cold ‘Miller MGD’ by a very friendly barman named Amon

 and relaxed and enjoyed the spectacular view.

The next morning I visited the Beares store in Hazyview. This is yet another Beares store where whenever I visit, the management and staff make me feel like I am a long lost relative and the store manager, Peter Makhubela and his staff continued the tradition on this visit, so meet the amazingly friendly staff of

 Beares Hazyview.

 From Hazyview ‘Buddy and Me’ headed for White River where I was once again kindly hosted accommodation by the Protea Hotel group and this time it was in the lovely ‘‘The Winkler Protea Hotel’ and as so often happens, the front office staff welcomed me to the hotel in Royal style.

One of the reasons I always make White River a stop-over place on the project is because some very good friends of mine, Cheryl and Horst Reum reside in White River and if I ever visit anywhere close to the town and don’t pop in for a visit they will hunt me down and I will be subjected to some gruelling punishment.

The other reason I always make White River a stop-over place, is because Horst is a genius VW mechanic and owns a workshop in White River and he always works wonders with Buddy, and on this visit it was no exception because Buddy’s brake lights were not working.

So Buddy was admitted into ‘theatre’ and prepared for ‘surgery’ and Horst discovered that the switch on the brake pedal was broken, and so after fitting a new one and getting the lights working once again he greased the front suspension and buddy was ‘A-for-away’ again.

Here Horst doing a bit of ‘surgery’ on Buddy’s front suspension.

 While in White River over the weekend, Cheryl – who by the way owns the very successful property sales group ‘Fine & Country’ International Realty’ – so if you are looking for property in the White River area you need to contact her on 013 – 751 3245 – invited me to accompany her to a large church lunch function on Saturday afternoon where I was given the opportunity to spread the word and preach the gospel according to ‘Buddy and Me’ to the church congregation and to chat to a large number of people about the project

 

On Sunday morning Horst and Cheryl decided that I needed a good break and so took me on an excursion of the Kruger National Park.

So it’s time to meet these two incredibly wonderful people, Cheryl and Horst Reum. We were lucky enough to see four of the big 5 animals, the only one we didn’t see was the leopard and I got to see quite a few of my all time favourite animal

 ‘Jumbo’. In the Pretoriuskop camp it was amazing to see herds of ‘buck’ walking amongst the cars and chalets not perturbed in anyway.

 and of course there was ‘this other animal’ wandering around the camp 

and of course I could not, not have a pic of me with that amazing lady Cheryl ReumJ On the way to the gate this shy little guy was checking us out from the road side

 and this ‘not so shy’,

 obviously, male, was enjoying the pleasures of having a ‘wife’. As we neared the exit gate

 this ‘security guard’ ‘sentry’ watched over us and bid us farewell from high up on his ‘’sentry box/rock’

In order to reach the Kruger National Park from White River, one has to pass through a few very large townships/informal settlement areas and I could not help but shake my head in wonderment as I so often do when passing through townships and settlement areas and seeing so many small children, aged between 3 and 6 years-of-age, wondering around the streets and foot paths on their own. And then we wonder why so many kids/small children are being abducted, raped and sexually abused, come on guys and gals – parents – shake your heads, your brains are stuck!!!

Now for the story about the devastating ‘accident’ I experienced on Sunday night. After the long hot day in the Kruger Park, Cheryl and Horst dropped me off at my hotel where I decided to have a nice relaxing bath. I was expecting a phone call from the Round Tablers of Nelspruit and so took my BlackBerry cell phone into the bath room and placed it on my towel which was on the shelf at the end of the bath. I covered the cell phone with the corner of the towel to stop moisture getting into it – what a joke!! I climbed out of the bath and pulled the towel and saw my BlackBerry take a dive into the bath!!!!

I hurriedly removed the battery and used the hotels hair dryer to try and dry it out, but after all attempts to dry it and after putting the battery and sim card back in, the phone was dead!!  The big disaster part was that all my photos for the past week were on the phone and they were gone!!! L I left the battery and sim card out of the phone throughout the evening and in the morning when I put it back together the phone was still dead!! L I decided to try something and plugged in the charger, made a cup of coffee and had a shower the whole time cursing myself for being such an idiot and finally dressed and started packing. While packing I saw a flash of red light out of the corner of my eye and on checking the phone discovered that the screen showed that it was reprogramming itself. A couple of minutes later the phone was fully operationalJ So I got all my photos back and my BlackBerry is operating once again, so ‘Buddy and Me’ are fully functional again Yaahoo!!! Thanks to the brilliant and safe technology of BlackBerry, oh boy I love my Blackberry

Well that now finishes my story for the week and happy that I could finally get my website blog done, so all that’s left is for me to wish you all a great week ahead, I hope you all keep well and stay safe and above all KEEP ALL CHILDREN SAFE!!

Caring regards from

Buddy (The Beach Buggy)

And

Me’ (Steve Heath)

Please send your comments and opinions to: steve@buddyandme.co.za

Please note that all comments and opinions on the ‘Buddy and Me’ website and blogs are those of Steve Heath and not those of the sponsors to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project.


Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

Well it seems like, and in fact is, ages since I last posted a blog, and so I thought I better sit down and do one to update what has been happening in the lives of ‘Buddy and Me’.

So after a fantastic weekend at the ‘SATVIK Back-packers’ situated a short way out side of Tzaneen on the banks of the Tzaneen Dam, (for details see blog 47) Monday morning ‘Buddy and Me’ headed into Tzaneen where we met up with a large group of kids from a local school as well as guests in the form of members of the local police constabulary, social workers and members of the local press,

 and obviously the staff of the Beares store in Tzaneen.

One of the many conversations/discussions I had during my visit to Tzaneen, and in fact I can confidently say that this particular discussion which has been raised many times during the ‘Buddy and Me’ project has proved to be undoubtedly the biggest controversial subject discussed, and that is the issue of ‘fund raising’ by so many organisations to be found scattered around South Africa, for the purpose of supporting abandoned, neglected, and abused children, as well as for the support of babies and children who are born HIV positive due to pregnancy.

Based on my discussions with South Africans right across our country, it is painfully obvious that the public and corporate’s of South Africa are tired of continuously being approached by people and organisations to contribute towards the support of children who are being abandoned, neglected and born by mothers who in-spite of being fully aware of their HIV/AIDS status and aware of the consequences of falling pregnant, bring children into the world.

Virtually every day, in discussions, I hear members of the public, as well as ‘government officials’ in the form of social workers and policemen and women, saying “the government is far too ‘soft’ on people (parents) who continuously bring children into the world knowing that they cannot afford to support them, and after enjoying the pleasures of making the babies expect everyone else to pay to raise them”.

The government is spending hundreds of millions of Rands every month in ‘child grants’ knowing that only a very small portion of these grants is being used by the parents for the benefit of the child, in the majority of cases the ‘child grant’ is being used for the purchase of TV’s and other pleasures and luxuries of life by the parents, particularly in the cases of single mothers and in particular HIV/AIDS positive women who get the additional grants for their HIV positive children. (For details on the information I was provided with while in Howick on this subject see blog 9)

The general consensus is that in instances where children are found to be abused, neglected and abandoned and are placed in ‘institutions’ such as the one I wrote about in blog 43 and which is situated in Mafikeng, the parents must be held responsible and accountable and be placed in ‘work farms – factories/prisons’ and be forced to produce food and clothing for the children.

Discussions with people across the length and breadth of South Africa, and this includes those of all races and from many different walks of life, have revealed that they are tired of seeing films and pictures of starving and abandoned children, not only in South Africa, but throughout AFRICA as a whole, and everyone is expected to just keep coughing up to support these starving babies and children while men and women keep enjoying the pleasures of making them and are not being held accountable and responsible for subjecting the kids to the devastating pain and suffering we are seeing on a daily basis.

“WE HAVE TO CURE THE PROBLEM AND NOT JUST KEEP SUPPORTING IT BY FUNDING IT – AND THE SAME GOES FOR THE RAPE AND SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN”

I also visited the Beares store in Maake,

which is about 20 kilometres outside of Tzaneen and in order to reach this place I had to travel through a large a township area where I managed to speak to a number of the local residents, in particular women, who confirmed that ‘Hooow the raping of children and young girls in this area is veeeery bad” and it was also confirmed that “There is no use in reporting it to the police, because nothing happens”.

From Tzaneen ‘Buddy and Me’ headed for Phalaborwa where I was kindly hosted accommodation by the Round Table Chairman of Phalaborwa Pieter Van der Merwe and his lovely wife Deidre.

 and I spent a magic evening braaing and chatting to the Round Tablers of Phalaborwa and their wives.

Then it was time for a visit to the Beares store in Phalaborwa

 where I had an interesting chat with a lady from the local press as well as with a few other guests from the local community. I established that the police station has a well equipped ‘Victim Support Room’ and is generally kept quite busy, mainly by victims of rape, as in young girls in the 14 – 18 year-old age category which invariably results in the case being closed due to the ‘rapists’ paying the young girl and her parents money.

So what happened to the legislation in the form of the ‘Sexual Offences Act 32/2007’ which clearly defines the fact that sex with a girl in this age category constitutes ‘RAPE’? I must admit that in-spite of having read the Act a number of times; I have failed to locate the section which states that “Should the rapist pay an agreed upon sum of money to the victim and or her parents, the case of rape (statutory rape) will be dropped”??

From Phalaborwa ‘Buddy and Me’ headed for Hoedspruit and immediately on arriving in the area headed for the Klaserie Dam where I set up camp.

This resort must be one of the loveliest and most tranquil resorts one can wish to camp in. It is surrounded by large game farms and in the morning I was woken by the sound of what appeared to be three very large lions roaring and grunting close by. I am told that the sound of a lion roaring, grunting, travels for kilometres, but these sounded pretty close, I also heard hyena and this is a particularly weird sound.

My visit to the Beares store in Hoedspruit

 resulted in a very lengthy interview with the editor of the local newspaper ‘Kruger/Canyon’ and which identified the fact that the local police are rated as being amongst the most corrupt police officials in South Africa, mmm I must admit that’s not exactly what I would like my town to be renown for?

It was also confirmed that child rape is occurring on a large scale in the area, along with the rape of women as well as domestic violence on a very large scale and that there is a “pretty good and effective ‘Victim Support Group’” which is comprised of a group of local residents who have joined together to assist victims of rape and domestic violence. Once again there is no sign of any form of assistance from government in this regard and if the residents do not provide this service and fund it, the victims would just have to suffer in silence, as they do in the majority of areas around South Africa.

I was told that the police station has a ‘Victim Support Room’ but as was in the case of Thabazimbi, as well as a few other police stations I visited, when I arrived at the police station and asked to see the

Victim Support Room’ and to meet the person who is in charged of it, I was told “Sorry the room is locked and the person who is responsible for it (Jamela) is not here, I don’t know when she will be back and we can’t contact her”. I rest my case!!

Because of the postponement of the ‘Child Abuse Symposium’ which was to be held in Cape Town on the 11th and 12th of August by ‘The TygerBear Clinic’ and at which I was going to be a guest speaker, I was forced to take a break for the past week and so headed to Jo’burg to sort out a few personal things which amongst others was to get a new batch of flyers printed, and by the way – if there is anyone out there who wants to contribute to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project in the form of sponsoring the printing of the flyers your assistance will be greatly appreciated.

I spent the weekend with friends Jaco Labuschagene and Celeste Grobler

 and on Tuesday morning headed for Villiers on the banks of the Vaal River with Wonder Woman – June Porter – where we proceeded to enjoy a relaxing few days camping

and fishing, and just to prove it!

In-spite of the fact that I’m wearing a ‘Springbok’ rugby jersey, the arms spread in celebration was for the successful catch and successful release of a fish, not the continued dismal performance of our national rugby team.

 

On the drive back to Jo’burg on Sunday, we stopped off at the ‘Total Petro-port’ filling station halfway between Heidelberg and Jo’burg to fill up both Buddy’s forever empty stomach (petrol tank) as well as our own. On entering the restaurant and waiting for our food and drinks order, a gentleman seated at the table adjacent to ours commented that he could not fail to notice Buddy in the car park and enquired about the project. After an interesting chat, he asked for the ‘Buddy and Me’ website details and so I provided him with a project flyer/brochure and he bid us farewell. On requesting our bill for our food and drinks we were told by the waitress that the gentleman we had been talking to had already paid our bill.

I have often mentioned that I am blessed to meet so many incredibly amazing people on this project, and this is a classic example of what I mean. I unfortunately only know the gentleman as ‘Ian’, so I sincerely hope that Ian reads my blogs and accepts mine and June’s sincere thanks and appreciation for your wonderfully kind gesture.

Another interesting comment which was made recently in a discussion, is concerning the fact that “extensive coverage is given to Julius Malema by all forms of the media in South Africa every time he opens his mouth and sprouts the garbage that usually comes out of it, yet in-spite of continuously having forwarded the details of the ‘Buddy and Me’ project to the SABC and other TV channels, none of them have bothered to contact me in order to expose the information revealed by the research I have undertaken on the subject of child rape, and it would appear that they are just as unconcerned about the shocking situation as our government is”.

So if there is anyone out there who is in a position to whisper in the ear of someone connected with the media, in the form of radio or TV or national press, please pass on my contact details to them, it will be sincerely appreciated.

Well that about covers all, or rather a portion, of the travels and discussions ‘Buddy and Me’ were involved in over the past 2 weeks, and so on Tuesday morning ‘Buddy and Me’ will be heading back to the Mpumalanga region and will be continuing our “Buddy and Me’ crusade to ensure that our government does everything necessary to eradicate the scourge of the rape and sexual abuse of children from our society.

So I will bid you farewell for now, keep well and stay safe, and lets pray that our government wakes up and does what is necessary to protect our country’s greatest asset “Our children” and ensures that they are all kept safe.

Caring regards from

Buddy (The Beach Buggy)

And

Me’ (Steve Heath)

Please send your comments and opinions to: steve@buddyandme.co.za

Please note that all comments and opinions on the ‘Buddy and Me’ website and blogs are those of Steve Heath and not those of the sponsors to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project.

 


Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

  • To see the ‘Buddy and Me’ scheduled itinerary details for the period 21st July – 29th August 2011 see blog 45
  • To read the shocking details of the Upington horror story – The Hynie Dick Story – regarding the ‘Upington savage pedophile’ see blog 35
  • To read details of the ‘savage’ the police are looking for in connection with the rape of a 3 year little girl, see blog 39
  • To read the heart breaking story by a mother (Cathy Kenney) of the rape of  her 3 year-old daughter see blog 38
  • To read the storey of Natasha who at 10 years-of age was brutally raped and murdered and after serving a very short portion of his sentence, the ‘State’ wants to release the savage who did it, from prison, see blog 10 (November 2010)
  • To read ‘Birds’ story about her incredible courage to face her ‘step-father’ who she looked up to and loved as a ‘father’ who abused her and her love, as told by her mother – Elise – see blog 42

 

So another week is in the past and it proved to be quite an informative one as well as great in terms of the amazing people I met and places ‘Buddy and Me’ visited.

The week started with a visit to the Beares store in Mokopane (otherwise known to many who are not aware of the fact that the towns name has changed its name from Potgietersrus) where I met the newly appointed Beares store Manager Hendrik Nepgen and his friendly staff.

I had met a lot of people in Mokopane over the weekend who provided me with an amazing amount of information regarding the child rape situation in the area, and so after a relaxing time with the Beares staff and getting the opportunity to catch up with responses to a pile of emails, I left Mokopane and headed for Polokwane.

In my last blog (Blog – 46) I mentioned that I was going to provide details of the effect the HIV/AIDS epidemic has had on the rape of children, and so in response to an article that was written by a gentleman by the name of David Beresford from the Nelspruit area who wrote an article regarding the excuse used by so many individuals when raping children which is that the Sangoma’s are claiming that “if you have sex with a virgin child it will cure your HIV/AIDS”, so here is the information on this subject which I have learned during the passed 6 years of research on the subject of child rape and specifically this aspect of it.

Prior to the ‘Sexual Offences Act – Act 32/2007’ coming into effect, it was deemed ‘unlawful’ to obtain or ascertain a rapists HIV/AIDS status. However through ‘other’ means, such as when an in-mate fell sick etc it was necessary for the doctors to obtain blood samples and to undertake various tests to ascertain what illness the inmate was suffering with and these tests I am told included HIV/AIDS tests. These tests indicated that the far majority of child rapists are in-fact HIV/AIDS negative.

With the implementation of the ‘Sexual Offences Act – Act32/2007’ three years ago, which makes it compulsory for the testing of a suspected rapists, tests are carried out at the time of being charged in order to establish the rapists HIV/AIDS status. Information provided through this means over the past three years has, according to the information provided to me, further confirmed that the majority of child rapists are HIV/AIDS negative.

 

Further research has however confirmed that although the HIV/AIDS epidemic has not impacted on the rape of children for the reasons claimed, as in to cure HIV/AIDS, it has played a major role for other reasons.

It is a common fact and knowledge that if a child is born HIV positive due to pregnancy in the rural/township areas, these being where the majority of child rape cases are taking place, due to poverty and the low standard of living the child is not expected to live past its 4 – 5th birthday. It is also common fact and knowledge that children in these areas are sexually active from the age of 12 years of age. Based on these facts the children in the age groups of 6 – 10 years of age are therefore in a ‘safe zone’ as far as being HIV/AIDS negative is concerned.

All my research has indicated that child rape being perpetrated by ‘strangers’ is occurring with children in this age category for the reason that they ‘don’t want to be infected with HIV/AIDS’ and convicted rapists I have had the misfortune to have met and interviewed, have confirmed this, saying that if they had sex/raped an older woman the possibilities of contracting HIV/AIDS is good. However due to the fact that 90% of child rape is being perpetrated by biological fathers, step-fathers, uncles and grandfathers, these individuals are fully aware of the child’s HIV/AIDS status and so they are raping children of all ages.

                                    ———————————-

 

From Mokopane ‘Buddy and Me’ headed for the bustling city of Polokwane, where I was kindly provided accommodation in the lovely Protea Landmark Hotel which is situated about five kilometres outside of Polokwane in the tranquil countryside.

 So meet the Hotels General Manager Louise Veldman and her front office staff.

The next morning ‘Buddy and Me’ headed into Polokwane where we met up with the friendly staff of the Beares store.

 Here the branch Manager Pieter Du Preez (right at the back in the photo with the ‘white hair’) arranged for me to meet with, apart from many others, a really interesting lady by the name of Peggy Legodi who is a councillor with ward 11 and is a member of the ‘ANC Woman’s league’ and in addition to this is the owner of a crèche AND is the local ‘Community Liaison Officer’, all in all a very busy lady! In addition to this amazing lady I got to chat to an amazing lady by the name of Betty Kgare, who is the Secretary of the “ANC Woman’s League’ AND can you believe it! Councillor Mehlape! All the ‘Larne’s” in one day!! Amazing!!

After being presented with the details of what I believe is a solution to eradicating child rape from our society, it was unanimously agreed that our government has to pay attention to my proposal and to commit themselves to implementing it and so eradicate the sick crime of child rape from our society completely. In-fact Peggy Legodi confirmed my belief that we have to stop focusing on the problem, as in expecting the public and corporate companies of South Africa to keep footing the bill for providing support to the victims and to focus on implementing a solution, we cannot afford to continue doing ‘damage control’ forever!!

From Polokwane ‘Buddy and Me’ headed for Makhado (or Louis Trichardt as some people still know it) and along the way ‘Buddy and Me’ crossed the ‘Tropic of Capricorn’.

 (Don’t worry about the spelling on the board, but it is definitely the ‘Tropic of CapricoRn)

 In Louis Trichardt “Buddy and Me’ were once again hosted accommodation by the Round Tablers and this time, as was the case with my last visit to Louis Trichardt, I was home hosted by that king of crazy guys Jerry Cloete and his lovely wife Karien and their two daughters Chané and latest addition Taelyn. The evening was spent with a large group of Tablers and their wives and better halves over a lovely sea food supper and I got to meet the President of the Round Table for Southern Africa, Johan Lindeque who travelled all the way from Port Elizabeth,  

 and presented me with his personal banner and lapel pin, and can you believe it I was given the honour of meeting another President, Sonel Prinsloo who is the President of the ‘Lady’s Circle’ of Southern Africa – 2 Presidents in one night, amazing stuff!

Sonel is the stunning blond lady standing on my right hand side.

I had a wonderful time with the Beares staff in Polokwane,

 and got to meet some really interesting people and had a very in-depth chat with a group of kids from a local high school who provided me with some interesting opinions on ‘what needs to be done to eradicate child rape from our society’ and was provided with probably some of the best opinions I have heard for some time. I also got to meet an amazing man by the name of Councillor (COPE) Geoffrey Tshibuimo who agreed entirely with my proposal in principal and has promised to read it in depth and to email me with his final opinion and comments.

 The kids of course insisted that Buddy be included into the days activities.  

So meet the friendly Beares staff of Louis Trichardt and the smooth looking dude on the left of the photo is Councillor Geoffrey Tshibuimo.

 After bidding farewell to first Karien, Chané and Taelyn,

 and then dad, character of note Jerry

it was off to the ‘Far North” and you know when you have reached the extreme north when you see this:

 “The big daddy- grandfather – Baobab tree!” and so ‘Buddy and Me’ had arrived in Musina, the furthest point in South Africa, actually I’m sorry I am wrong, this is the furthest point in South African –

 Beit Bridge! I could not believe that ‘Buddy and Me’ had left Cape Town – Agulhas, the most Southern point of Africa and have taken three months to travel to the most Northern point of South Africa and have spoken to and interviewed literally hundreds of people on our way!

 My accommodation in Musina was arranged by the Round Tablers of Louis Trichardt and so I was hosted in the lovely Matoppi B&B by Phillip and Alda Rossouw.

 If you ever find yourself in Musina you have to stay at this truly tranquil and lovely place. Contact details are: Tel: 015-5342669 Email: info@matoppi.com Website: www.placesforafrica.com/matoppi  The address is 45 Kerk Street Musina.

So after a magic day with Anna Mulando, the Beares store Manager in Musina and her really friendly staff in Musina Beares store,

 I paid a visit to the Thuthuzela Care Centre which was ‘established’ in the Musina district hospital 2 months ago, and so is still not functioning properly, and my experience on visiting 28 Thuthuzela Care Centres to date tells me that it will remain as it is for years to come, unless the government takes the time to read my proposal and commits to them being set up properly.

I also had a lengthy chat with members of the local police who confirmed that child rape, because of the huge problem the area is facing resulting from a large community of ‘illegal’ immigrants from Zimbabwe, is happening on a frightening scale. The thing that amuses me is that the police are fully aware of the large contingent of illegal immigrants but what are they doing about it. When I asked my police guests, my question received the response of, a shrug of the shoulders and “there isn’t much we can do about it because they just keep coming back”. It sounds pretty much like our governments attitude towards the rape of children!!

It was also confirmed that all that has occurred by the military being placed along the border to supposedly stop illegal immigrants crossing into South Africa, is that their ‘income’ has been boosted immensely!

I also had a great interview with the local radio station “Musina Community Radio 104.0 Mhz with DJ – Biscuit and the news editor Kabelo Thelele.

Kablelo confirmed that one of the biggest problems facing the area is the fact that the “Guma Guma”, these being Zimbabweans who ‘assist’ fellow Zimbabweans with plans and routes to cross into South Africa illegally, who after receiving payment and on arriving at the place on the border where they are to cross into South Africa, the illegal immigrants are robbed and raped. Kabelo told me that the banks of the river are littered with the underwear of woman and children and even men who have been stripped, raped and robbed and then chased across the river into South Africa.

From Musina, on Friday I travelled back to Louis Trichardt where I collected my trailer from Jerry and then continued through to Tzaneen where the Tzaneen Round Tablers kindly arranged for me to stay at an absolutely amazing place called ‘SATVIK’ which is a Backpackers/self-catering set up on the banks of the Tzaneen Dam.

 Saturday was yet another black day for South Africa rugby supporters with the Boks being annihilated by the All Blacks but I had a great morning in-spite of this with the Round Tablers of Tzaneen.

 So thanks guys, your support to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project as well as your great friendship and hospitality is sincerely appreciated.

But the Tablers friendship and hospitality did not end there, on Sunday they all arrived at ‘SATVIK’ where we enjoyed a magic day in the warm sunshine, while most of the rest of South Africans were freezing their butts off, we braaied and consumed large quantities of beer, oh and ‘tried’ to catch fish right!!

 I was also presented with the Tzaneen Round Tables banner and lapel pin by the Tables Chairman Bruce Mogg while Vice Chairman Dale Eberhard watched on.

I have often said that I try very hard not to get too acquainted with animals on this project, especially dogs, because when it comes time for me to leave I can say good bye to people much easier than I can say good bye to an animal, and in the case of ‘SATVIK’ I made an incredible friend in the form of a cat. Now people who know me well, are fully aware of the fact that I am not really a ‘cat’ person, but this cat absolutely stole my heart and followed me around all weekend and slept on my bed, cuddling up in my arms.

 And when it came time for me to go to town, my new found friend always jumped into Buddy’s passenger seat and I had a battle to get her out and drive off without her running behind, I have never experienced this with a cat in my life before! 

 

While doing my week-ends shopping in Tzaneen, I saw a sticker which I had to get and so Buddy now has a new sticker added to his ever increasing collection, I’m sure the lady’s will enjoy this one.

 I certainly did especially when considering the atrocities being committed against woman and children by so called “men”!!

 So all that was left for me to do was to thank Louis Jordaan, the owner of ‘SATVIKBackpackers, for his kind and generous support to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project by providing me with accommodation for the weekend.

So meet Louis Jordaan, with my ‘other Buddy’ “Kitty”. So if you ever need to escape to a really tranquil and peaceful place, ‘SATVIK’ is the place to visit and stay. Details of the place are in the ‘Coast to Coast – Backpackers booklet’ but you can get hold of Louis on telephone number: 015 – 307 3920 or cell: 084 556 2414 or email: satvik@pixie.co.za I promise you, you will not be sorry.

So that ended the week for ‘Buddy and Me’. Next week will start in Tzaneen and finish in Hoedspruit and because the world symposium on child rape in Cape Town has been postponed to October, at which I was supposed to be a guest speaker, I have been left with an open week, and because I don’t want to have to reschedule all the Beares stores and other appointments already established for me I will have to be faced with a whole week off, so until we meet up again on my website blog, ‘Buddy and Me’ wish you all a safe and productive week. Keep well. Stay safe and please keep all children safe.

Caring regards from

Buddy (The Beach Buggy)

And

Me’ (Steve Heath)

Please send your comments and opinions to: steve@buddyandme.co.za

Please note that all comments and opinions on the ‘Buddy and Me’ website and blogs are those of Steve Heath and not those of the sponsors to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project.  


Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

  • To see the ‘Buddy and Me’ scheduled itinerary details for the period 21st July – 29th August 2011 see blog 45
  • To read the shocking details of the Upington horror story – The Hynie Dick Story – regarding the ‘Upington savage pedophile’ see blog 35
  • To read details of the ‘savage’ the police are looking for in connection with the rape of a 3 year little girl, see blog 39
  • To read the heart breaking story by a mother (Cathy Kenney) of the rape of  her 3 year-old daughter see blog 38
  • To read the storey of Natasha who at 10 years-of age was brutally raped and murdered and after serving a very short portion of his sentence, the ‘State’ wants to release the savage who did it, from prison, see blog 10 (November 2010)
  • To read ‘Birds’ story about her incredible courage to face her ‘step-father’ who she looked up to and loved as a ‘father’ who abused her and her love, as told by her mother – Elise – see blog 42

 

So the ‘Buddy and Me’ week started off by first thanking Chrislen le Roux the Protea Hotel Manager for her kind and generous support to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project, and then I started my hunt for petrol which involved stopping at 3 filling stations and eventually found one that appeared to have petrol but had about 20 cars standing waiting to be filled up, so I only left the Sandton area at 8:45am. Then I drove through to Mafikeng via Krugersdorp, Ventersdorp and Lichtenburg to Mafikeng (360 kilometres) and after collecting the trailer at the Beares store headed out on the road to Zeerust.

The drive to Zeerust involved driving along a stretch of road which I can only describe as being the biggest rip off, in fact it’s pure theft on the part of our government and so called ‘Roads Department – Department of Transport’ which involves a ‘toll gate’ which is a few kilometres before Swartruggens which costs R65-00. Now if this was a lovely double lane highway it ‘might’ be acceptable, but this stretch of road is a shockingly patched piece of road and is in fact a single lane which requires motorists using this ‘road’ and who are being ripped off by the extravagant costs of this piece of ‘road’ to sit behind trucks for long stretches of road because of the twists and bends in the road. So I take it you are aware of the fact that I am pissed off with our ‘Transport/Roads Department’! well you right.

About 5 kilometres outside of Zeerust I was flagged down by a traffic cop on the side of the road and after panicking for a minute discovered that he had been sent out by the Beares Manager in Zeerust to escort Buddy and Me into town!! Phew sweated there for a moment, because I was running a little late and did not have time to chat with the traffic cops as they usually do; in-spite of the fact that I usually enjoy our road side chats.

When we arrived outside the Beares store ‘Buddy and Me’ were greeted by a horde of kids from a local school shouting “Hello Buddy and Steve” at the tops of their voices  

 it was absolutely amazing!!!

 While in Zeerust I got to meet, apart from a few other people, an incredibly interesting young lady by the name of Berdine (and yes that is spelt right) Venter,

 who is a Social Worker with an organisation called ‘NG Welfare Zeerust’ which is an organisation under the umbrella of the ‘Dutch Reformed Church’ and which provides support in the form of legal, medical and counselling support to victims of child rape and general abuse. We spent hours, and when I say hours, I mean hours, from 1:30 till 4:50 in the afternoon, talking about the child rape situation and all the consequences this disgusting crime has on our society.

She provided me with details of a case which involves four small kids, all from the same family, which she and her organisation have been investigating, privately at huge cost, for the past 2 years, the details of which are shocking and I will be posting a blog soon regarding this case. After my chat with Berdine I came to the conclusion that this young lady was not only put on earth for a specific reason to help children, but was brought to Zeerust for the specific reason to help these kids. So Berdine keep up the amazing work you are doing, you are a very special person.

Because of the intensity of our chat, by the time we finished and I had bid the Beares staff farewell, it was almost 5:15 which meant that I had a night drive through to Rustenburg, but the delay because of the chat was well worth it, and apart from the fact that Buddy’s head lights are atrocious, it was freezing cold, so generally not a nice drive, but I arrived in one piece and managed to link up with my host for the night, Round Tabler Heindrich Schulze who I followed to his abode, my ‘home’ for the next two nights.  We were then joined by Round Tablers Shaun Harris (a 41ner ou-man) and RT Marius Lubbe for a braai.

 But before I finish this story about the braai, I must tell you about something’s which I learnt about my host: 1) Heindrich has an absolutely amazing little Jack Russell dog named ‘Sharky’

 (Which is obviously a very good name for a brilliant minded animal) which does the most amazing things with stones and golf balls and literally runs around Heindrich’s shoulders. 2) Heindrich is a man who does not buy ‘Tabasco Sauce’ by the little ‘woosey’ 200 whatever gram bottles, but buys them by the

 jug!!! He, I am told, by a very ‘good – reliable source’, even has ‘Tabasco Sauce’ with his ‘Post-Toasties’!!!

 So now back to the business of the project. So after a really enjoyable evening, the next morning I headed for the Beares store where I met all the friendly people of Beares Rustenburg,

 and after spending some quality time chatting to them I headed for the ‘David Brink Primary School’ where the Head Master, Mr v/d Westhuizen afforded firstly a top rate SAPS-FCS unit member, Warrant Officer Thinus Else the opportunity to talk and who later introduced me. I was then afforded the privilege of chatting to a crowd of nearly 900 kids, ranging from grade 1 to grade 7.

I think I can honestly say that after having addressed many kids at schools across South Africa, I have never spoken at a school where the kids were so engrossed by what I was saying, it was truly a mind boggling experience. When I finished speaking, the kid’s queued up to get my autograph, incredible!!!

During one discussion with the police I was told of the latest, absolutely ridiculous bit of legislation which has hit our law books, and that is, that the police are no longer allowed to publish photo’s or identikit pictures of suspects who they are looking for in connection with crimes being investigated. Evidently this is now considered to be “unconstitutional” and contravenes the ‘individuals’ (suspects) rights!!!

Another interesting discussion was surrounding our esteemed government / legislators decision to produce a piece of legislation in the form of the ‘Child Justice Act’ (Act 75 / 2008) which excludes children under the age of 10 years-of-age of any criminal capacity, in other words a child under the age of 10 years of age can commit an offence / crime and not be held criminally responsible. Section 9 (1) of the Act states that should a child be suspected of having committed an offence, he or she may not be arrested but has to be handed over into the care of his/her parents. Should it be established that the child did in-fact commit the offence the child must under go the ‘Diversion Programme’, which in effect is counselling, and nothing further happens to the child!!

I have held discussions with members of the police service across the length and breadth of South Africa and I have heard so many story’s involving crimes being committed by children in this age category, and these crimes include, rape of children, including the rape of small babies, robbery and house breaking and even murder, and it burns my ass every time I hear that because of the ‘Child Justice Act’ these kids are regarded to ‘above the law’. Two specific cases which spring to mind is one in Lamberts Bay where two boys, aged 8 and 9 years of age, raped a small girl of 5 very badly and then beat her to death with a metal pipe. The second was in Vredendal where three boys, aged between 7 and 9 years of age raped a boy of 6 and then forced a branch from a tree into him via his rectum. In both instances nothing happened to the little ‘savages’ and they have been placed in the ‘Diversion Programme’.

I am very sorry to say, but I believe that if these little ‘savages’ can do these crimes, then they must suffer the full consequences of their actions, they know that what they did was wrong and so must be held accountable and responsible for their actions.

Our esteemed government in the form of the legislators in 1998, changed the rape act and excluded the rape of a male from the rape act. The rape of a male, be it an adult male or a child then fell under the ‘Sexual Abuse Act’ which attracted a maximum sentence on conviction of 12 months imprisonment, and in-spite of much lobbying, the government chose to change the rape act and so excluded the rape of a male from the act, the consequences of this resulted in a massive increase in the rape or ‘sexual abuse’ of small boys. After 9 years the government realised they had made a booboo and rewrote the rape act in the form of the ‘Sexual Offences Act – Act 32/2007’ and the rape of a male was once again included into the legal definition of rape.

I personally, and my views are shared by many individuals across South Africa, including members of the SAPS, and Social Workers, believe that by removing the criminal capacity of a child under the age of 10 years of age, we will be breading another generation of criminals.

So now that I have dealt with those bits of the legal / justice system, which have been discussed at length with many individuals on my travels, off my chest, let me carry on with where ‘Buddy and Me’ have been travelling.

While braaing with the Round Tablers of Rustenburg, I boasted about how great Buddy’s new rear tail lights are, the ones fitted by my son-in-law Zac down in Pinetown. Of course they wanted me to show them how bright the lights are and of course I obliged. A problem arose when after showing them how the tail lights and indicators practically light up the neighbourhood, I pushed the brake pedal and discovered that the brake lights weren’t working!!!!, so the next morning I spent some time trying to locate the problem before heading out to Thabazimbi. Unfortunately after checking the fuses and globes I could not get them to work and so took a chance driving to Thabazimbi with no brake lights, praying all the way that I would not be stopped by traffic cops and end up with a fine.

On arriving in Thabazimbi I immediately headed for my ‘new home’ which was a lovely B&B owned by a magic couple Marietjie and Paul Conradie called ‘El-Shadai’.

 So if ever you find yourself visiting Thabazimbi, there is only one place to stay, and that is ‘El-Shadai B&B’ and you can contact Marietjie or Paul on 014 – 772 3389 or 083 800 8014 or email them on elshadaibb@polka.co.za. You can also check them out on the website: www.tourismgrading.co.za

The next day after spending some time chatting to the Beares staff,

I headed for the police station where I wanted to see their ‘Victim Support Room (VSR)’. I was pointed in the direction of the ‘VSR’ which is in a building next to the police station, but when I tried to enter I discovered that the room was locked. On making enquiries I was told that the lady manning the centre “had gone to town’. I was also told that she could not be contacted to find out when she would be back so I could either wait or come back later, my thought, “mmm what if I was a mother with a small child who had been raped”.

I decided to return to ‘El-Shadai’ and spend the time trying to locate the problem with Buddy’s brake lights and walla!!!, I discovered that the wires which are supposed to be attached to the brake master cylinder, at the end of the brake pedal, had come off, so once again Buddy was road worthy and legal.

I returned an hour later only to find the situation had not changed. Three quarters of an hour later on arriving at the ‘VSR’ the doors were still locked, no one available to help me. After a further 15 minutes of standing around I was just about to climb into Buddy and give up when a young lady arrived and called me, she was the lady I was waiting for.

At this point there is another point of contention I have to mention, and that is the ‘Victim Support Room’s’ which are being established at all the police stations, or rather most of the police stations, around the country. In many instances I have been told by members of the communities that they have established ‘VSR’s’ at their local police stations, at their own costs, and that within a few months of the ‘VSR’ being opened, on visiting the ‘VSR’s’ it has been discovered that the beds, blankets, TV’s etc are ‘missing’. The ‘VSR’ at the Thabazimbi police station however is probably the best I have seen to date.

At the Thabazimbi ‘VSR’ I met a really dedicated police officer in the form of Warrant Officer Corra Myburgh who confirmed that child rape is occurring at a pretty mean rate in the area, and she also confirmed that the far majority of cases are not being reported. After providing her with the details of my proposed ‘solution’ she promised to read my proposal for a solution and to provide me with her opinion and comments, so Corra I am looking forward to receiving your comments and opinions.  She did however also confirm that the conviction rate on child rape in their area is very low and that it falls pretty much in line with South Africa’s pathetic national conviction rate on child rape of 4 – 6%. She went on to say that in fact if a case involves the rape of a small child, as in below the age of 6, the chances of obtaining a conviction is zero! And even in the case of older kids, as in 6 -12 years of age, if there is no semen / DNA the chances of obtaining a conviction is also ZERO!!!

So why are these ‘savages’ raping the children??? BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING AWAY WITH IT, AND OUR GOVERNMENT IS DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO STOP THEM!!!!!!! And now the police are not even allowed to publish photo’s of the child rapists to get the publics help to apprehend them and remove them from our society!!

My next port of call was to the town of Modimolle (Nylstroom) where I once again had the opportunity to meet with some really interesting people, amongst whom was an amazing lady by the name of Gezina Lombard who is involved in the management of the ‘Abraham Kriel Children’s Home’. The Home provides accommodation and a support structure for abused children, as in abuse in many different forms which includes, sexual abuse, rape as well as physical and emotional abuse. I heard some pretty heart wrenching stories of kids who have been admitted to the home and one particular story hit me pretty deep, and that was of a little girl who at the tender age of 6 was savagely raped by her step-father and was found by her mother in the bath in a large pool of her own blood. So to Gezina you have my absolute admiration for the job you and your colleagues are doing, you are all angels in my book.  

As usual I got to meet a horde of kids and as usual Buddy was roped into the day’s activities.

 So to Johan Coetzee, the Beares store Manager in Modimolle a great big thanks to you and your friendly staff for making my visit to Modimolle such a great and informative one.

 From Modimolle ‘Buddy and Me’ took the road to Mokopane (Potgietersrus) where I was kindly hosted accommodation for the week-end by the lovely Protea ‘The Park’ Hotel, and the Front Office Manager Dudu Nxumalo and her staff ensured that my three night stay was an absolutely amazing one.

That’s Dudu on my left.

 My weekend involved meeting some really great people, firstly in the form of a couple, Bob Saayman and Jean Dunn who are touring around the country in their 4X4 and caravan and who I met at the O’Hagan’s pub in Mokopane while watching the Springboks get a thrashing by Australia in the opening match of the Tri-Nations rugby tournament.

 This is what they had to say in their website blog:

 23-07-2011 Mokopane.

Flags flying half-mast, tears flowing, the defeat of the beloved “bokkies” will remain a bitter memory to many. Players and selectors, no doubt to be further ripped to pieces and devoured by the critics with the gusto of hyenas.

Sitting in an almost empty O Hagan’s Pub did not require the skills of lip reading to interpret the profanities muttered by the viewers. Suggestions to aid the bokkies in moral support ranged from; sheep on the side of the field to distract the Aussies, or, bring on the local school-boy team, tell them they are playing for a belated birthday gift for Nelson Mandela’s 93rd birthday, memories of his 1995 World Cup involvement in mind. I guess long hours will be spent at the drawing board at the Bok camp.

Where the rugby results proved a dismal affair, the meeting of a gentleman by the name of Steve Heath in the pub turned out to be a very pleasant encounter. Firstly, it was refreshing to happenstance upon an English spoken gentleman, quick of wit and well-spoken in the land of Afrikanderdom. The interesting part about Steve is that, he gave up his high position and corporate life style to dedicate his life to research work in the fight against the rape and sexual abuse of children. Traveling through 10 African countries and virtually every town in South Africa in his trusted beach-buggy affectionately known as “Buddy,” he interviews victims, NGO’s, police, magistrates and the rapists themselves, in search of a solution to this scourge. Steve receives no financial gain what-so-ever, for this worthy quest of his. In fact, all it needs is your support to “spread the word” simply by e-mailing Steve’s web site and mail addresses to friends and colleagues, be they local or international. For more information on Steve and the noble work he is doing to improve our society I call on all our followers to visit his web-site: www.buddyandme.co.za or, e-mail him at steve@buddyandme.co.za  for every hit received on his web, one of the sponsors will donate one USD to this worthy cause. Steve can also be found on Facebook.

As to the rest of the day; nothing more exciting than to slink home and sulk about the bokkies defeat down under. Since no pics were taken today, I again resort to my random selection from the collection but, remember; what delights us in the visible beauty is the invisible.

                                                                                                            ——————————————

So many thanks for that Bob and Jean and I wish you enjoyable and safe travelling and I hope to meet up with you guys again, some where in South Africa, keep well and stay safe.

 

The other great people I met in Mokopane were the guys at the SUPA QUICK outlet. Buddy’s front left tyre has worn down and is barely legal, so Marius Knoetze and the boys at SUPA QUICK Mokopane kindly swopped my spare tyre for the one on the front rim, because the spare rim is slightly buckled from the terrible pot holes ‘Buddy and Me’ have been subjected to, and so now we are one hundred % legal again Yahoo!!!!

 So meet the great guys of SUPA QUICK Mokopane, that’s Marius with the stripped ‘Long-shorts’.

Sunday was spent with the Round Tablers of Mokopane or rather ‘Kameeldoring’ RT 92 and our hosts for the day and braai were Gerhard and Helena Hennings. Their farm is about ten kilometres outside Mokopane and I can only describe it as absolute heaven on earth. So meet the crazy guys and ladies of Round table Kameeldoring (Mokopane).

Our hosts, Gerhard – with the white and blue shirt on the right of the picture (I won’t mention the ugly ‘blue bull’ on his shirt) and the lovely Helena seated in the front with the green blouse. Thanks guys you made my visit to Mokopane an absolutely wonderful experience and I can’t wait to return to spend some quality relaxing time in your bush camp in January when the ‘Buddy and Me’ project 3 finishes and I need a place to relax, unwind and plan ‘Buddy and Me’ project 4.

 

Of course the guys had to do all the hard work for the braai, like drink beer, and braai the meat, while the ladies relaxed

Someone, on my face book, when I posted this particular photo, commented about “The thorn between the roses” I’m not going to name this person, but I will get my revenge “Wonder Woman”.

The Round Tablers of Kameeldoring also spent some time redecorating Buddy and this was the result.

 So if you click on the picture and open it you will see the ‘buck’ horns on the front bumper and the Warthog skull and tusks mounted on top of the rear spare wheel. Unfortunately, on my way ‘home’ to the Protea ‘The Park’ Hotel, I stopped of at the filling station and was mortified to discover that the kids who were attracted to Buddy were petrified of the Warthog skull and a couple ran away screaming, so unfortunately I was forced to remove the Warthog skull, because Buddy does a fantastic job in attracting kids and I can’t afford to have them running away mortified by the sight of the Warthog skull. But I compensated by removing the tusks and mounting them on the panel above the windscreen. Secondly on entering town a cop stopped me and pointed out that the ‘buck’ horns mounted on the front are in fact regarded as dangerous and “must be removed” he did however accept that mounted on the rear spare wheel was “acceptable” so hence the changes to the Round Tablers decorations.

And so ended my week-end in Mokopane (Potgietersrus), I was intending to write something in response to an article that was mentioned on my face book about an article which was published by a gentleman in Nelspruit by the name of David Beresford, who wrote an article about the fact that child rape is occurring because of the impact of the ridiculous allegations made by Sangoma’s that “sex with a virgin child will cure HIV/AIDS”.

My research over the past 6 years has confirmed and in-fact proves that HIV/AIDS is playing a major role in the rape of children; however it is not for the reason of curing HIV/AIDS. Unfortunately this blog has proved to be much longer than I thought it would be and Julia must be pulling her lovely golden locks out because of the blogs length and the number of pictures I have posted on it, so I will write about the effects and implications of HIV/AIDS on the rape of children in my next blog, so stay tuned for some mind boggling facts on this subject.

So until my next blog hits the streets, keep well, stay safe and keep your feet on the ground but reach real high for the stars, and above all keep the children safe!!

Caring regards from

Buddy (The Beach Buggy)

and

Me’ (Steve Heath)

Please send your comments and opinions to: steve@buddyandme.co.za

Please note, that all comments and opinions on the ‘Buddy and Me’ website and blogs are those of Steve Heath and not those of the sponsors to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project.


Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

 ‘Buddy and Me’

   Itinerary

                                  For the period 21st July – 29th August 2011

                                     

Store Beares/Lubners  Date at store Time at store
Thabazimbi Beares 21 July 10:00 – 13:00
Modimolle (Nylstroom) Beares 22 July 13:00 – 15:30
Mokopane (Potgietersrus) Beares 25 July 10:00 – 12:30
Polokwane Beares 26 July 10:00 – 12:00
Polokwane Lubners 26 July 12:30 – 14:30
Makhado (Louis Trichardt) Beares 28 July 10:00 – 12:30
Musina Beares 29 July 10:00 – 12:30
Tzaneen Beares 1 Aug 10:30 – 12:30
Tzaneen Lubners 1 Aug 13:00 – 14:30
Phalaborwa Beares 3 Aug 10:00 – 13:00
Hoedspruit Beares 4 Aug 10:30 – 13:00
Burgersfort Lubners 17 Aug 11:00 – 13:30
Lydenburg Beares 18 Aug 12:00 – 14:30
Hazyview Beares 19 Aug 10:00 – 13:00
Nelspruit Beares 22 Aug 10:30 – 13:00
Malelane Beares 23 Aug 10:00 – 12:30
Nkomazi Plaza Beares 23 Aug 13:30 – 15:30
Barberton Beares 24 Aug 12:00 – 15:00
Belfast Beares 26 Aug 10:00 – 12:30
Groblersdal Beares 29 Aug 12:30 – 15:00


Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

This blog is dedicated to some interesting information I was provided with regard to the trauma associated with the sexual abuse of children and how this can influence a child’s future life with regard to sexuality.

HOW TRAUMA SHAPES SEXUALITY

January 7th, 2011 | Author | 0 Comments »

HOW TRAUMA SHAPES SEXUALITY

Why would a woman who was sexually abused as a child have rape and submission fantasies that sexually excite her as an adult?  Why would another woman who suffered physical abuse as a child now enjoy role-playing dominant/submissive sex games?  Why would a man raped or taunted by classmates as an adolescent now be unable to perform sexually or another man who was repeatedly berated by an emotionally abusive parent now not be able to approach women socially or sexually?   These scenarios are not unusual; in fact, they are among the most common examples of how childhood trauma can shape adult sexual behavior.

Various studies (i.e. Wolfe, Gentile & Wolfe, 1989) have confirmed higher rates of Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) in sexually abused children.  These survivors display re-experiencing symptoms, including intrusive thoughts and flashbacks and becoming involved in relationships that repeat the sexually abusive behavior they originally suffered.  Additionally, it is estimated that “about four out of five abuse survivors experience disturbing sexual fantasies” (Wendy Maltz M.S.W.) which color their sexual predilections.  Maltz says that it is not surprising that the repercussions of abuse manifest themselves as issues of sexuality, since it was sexuality that was abused in the first place.

When we experience trauma in life, we associate those emotions with certain sensations and thoughts that were present during the traumatic episodes.  So if our young, innocent bodies instinctively responded to coercive sexual acts – acts that we really didn’t understand or acts that confused us because of how and with whom it was happening – then we might later, as adults, unconsciously connect the event with the feeling (the body remembers).  Consequently, coercive sex could actually become a signal to the body to respond sexually, even to the point of orgasm.  In fact, “some survivors find that their only path to sexual release is fantasizing victimization.”  (H. Smith, 2009).

There are a host of factors that contribute to the eventual sexual behavior of adult survivors, including degree of abuse, duration of abuse, abuser’s relationship to the victim, age when abused, rituals involved and whether or not the abuse became public knowledge and then how it was then dealt with by other parental figures.   Some adult survivors avoid sex; others engage in it promiscuously, while others simply numb themselves (or disassociate) during sex.   Those are among the most common general reactions that survivors have to sex.   But there has been very little research about how the abuse specifically shapes the sexual desires and fantasies of victims.  One such study conducted by Meston, Herman & Trapnell (1999), showed a relationship between early abuse and adult sexual behavior in the following areas – frequency of masturbation, range of sexual fantasies, masochism, promiscuity and voyeurism.

Another study by Finklehor & Browne (1985) – the most comprehensive study to date – identifies a “theory of sexual traumatization”.   Briefly, the theory posits that through a variety of means, childhood sexual abuse shapes sexuality creating unusual emotional associations to sexual activities and a repertoire of sexualized behaviors that seem inappropriate or disturbing.  These behaviors may have been learned during the period of abuse or in some manner are associated with the abuse and are now used as a strategy for manipulating others.  What the theory didn’t state is that they may now also be used as a way to self stimulate.

More empirical evidence could help survivors with the shame and guilt they experience over both their sexual reactions during the abuse and their sexual behavior (inclinations) later.

Roni Weisberg-Ross   L.M.F.T. 2010

http://www.wellness.com

blogs/rweisberg/4370/how-trauma-shapes-sexuality/r111ni-weisburg-ross-lmft

 


Mon
18
Jul '11

Blog 43 – Buddy and Me – Project 3 (17th July 2011)

Posted by Julia

Categories: Buddy and Me

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Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

  • To see the ‘Buddy and Me’ scheduled itinerary details for the period 14 June – 19th July 2011 see blog 34
  • To read the shocking details of the Upington horror story – The Hynie Dick Story – regarding the ‘Upington savage pedophile’ see blog 35
  • To read details of the ‘savage’ the police are looking for in connection with the rape of a 3 year little girl, see blog 39
  • To read the heart breaking story by a mother (Cathy Kenney) of the rape of  her 3 year-old daughter see blog 38
  • To read the storey of Natasha who at 10 years-of age was brutally raped and murdered and after serving a very short portion of his sentence, the ‘State’ wants to release the savage who did it, from prison, see blog 10 (November 2010)

 

This past week has proved to be a trying one for ‘Buddy and Me’, as it has been for all other South Africans as well, what with the nationwide strikes, rioting, and petrol shortage problems related to all this chaos. The thing that I cannot understand; and please if someone can enlighten me on this please do-so by emailing me your comments and opinions to steve@buddyandme.co.za but what I fail to understand is the fact that COSATU, during the last elections, put up posters all over the country encouraging the voting public to “Vote for the ANC”, then a mere 6 weeks after putting all their support behind the ANC and ensuring that the ANC remain in power, they threaten to “bring South Africa to it’s knees” with “rolling mass action” because of the poor governance of the country and have followed this through with nationwide strikes and violence?? The other problem I have understanding is, what is the difference between the pictures we saw on TV and in the papers during the 1970’s, these being of violent demonstrations in the townships, and the pictures we are seeing now?? One has to question the intelligence of COSATU’s hierarchy not to mention their modus operandi.

So having gotten that off my chest it’s back to where I left off on my last blog and that was when I had left Kimberley.  From Kimberley ‘Buddy and Me’ headed for Christiana, this being where I spent my birthday in the lovely holiday home on the banks of the Vaal River owned by Hennie Stols of Round Table Vryburg and when I received the news of my mom’s death and had headed for Pinetown, so it was great getting back to Christiana and relaxing for a couple of days over the weekend.

 Relaxing included visiting Les and Jackie, owners of the ‘Bush / farm pub’ called ‘Amper-klaar’ and making the acquaintance of this incredibly lovely little creature, ‘Baby Lamb’.

After a relaxing weekend, Monday morning I headed for Hartswater where I visited the Beares store where I met up with my good friend Antonio Labate who is the store Manager of the Beares store

and spent some quality time with him and his friendly staff.

I had already established the fact that there is not much in the form of a support structure for victims of child rape and domestic violence in the area, in-spite of the fact that both are occurring on a large scale in the area so any further enquiries were not necessary.

When I had visited Les and Jackie at the Amper-Klaar bush pub over the weekend, I had met up with a group of friendly people who actually hailed from Hartswater

 and one member of the group, Louis Victor, it turned out, is the Operations Director of PUMA Security which is based in Hartswater and he, on seeing my jacket, offered to provide me with a “much better and warmer jacket”, so hence when I had finished chatting to Antonio and his staff at the Beares store, Antonio took me to the PUMA Security offices where I was presented with a magnificent jacket which is guaranteed to keep out the cold.

I was kindly hosted accommodation for the night by Antonio and Leande (Antonio’s lovely wife) and I was ‘informed’ that I had to do the cooking for the evening, which obviously was a beef breyani,

this being as a result of my having bragged about the fact that the one I had cooked a few nights previously had turned out sooooo good J but Antonio didn’t get away scot-free, he had to perform the duties of my ‘assistant chef’ while Leande relaxed, having made the comment that I was the first person, other than herself, to have cooked in her kitchen, so thanks for the privilege Leande J.

The next morning, after one of the most restful night’s sleep I have had in a long time, I bid farewell to Antonio and Leande

and headed for Schweizer-Reneke in the freezing cold morning air and was really grateful for the lovely jacket that was given to me by Louis Victor of PUMA Security.

 

I get really depressed when entering one of the many small farming towns which can be found scattered all over South Africa which a few years back were lovely clean towns in-which the communities were very proud of but have now been turned into dirty hovels, and Schweizer-Reneke is one such town. I remember visiting Schweizer-Reneke way back in the early 1990’s and was so impressed with the cleanliness and friendliness of the town and its community, but unfortunately the deteriation of the town during the last 20 months alone since my last visit in November 2009 is incredible by its self.  

After chatting to the Beares staff

I had a chat with a member of the SAPS who confirmed that Schweizer-Reneke does not have an FCS unit and has to rely on the services provided by the SAPS-FCS unit in Wolmaransstad, 80 kilometres away. Support for child rape victims is provided solely by a couple of social workers in the town.

My evening was once again spent in the company of the Round Tablers of Vryburg where I was kindly hosted accommodation by the Chairman of Round Table Vryburg Ettienne Starke and his lovely wife Chantell and their sons Jayden and Ethan.

On arriving in Vryburg I was whisked away to the Country Club where I met up with a large group of the Round Tablers of Vryburg and a pleasant afternoon was had with this crazy bunch.

Later at Ettienne and Chantells house over a few frosties and good company we enjoyed a braai,

 fortunately Ettienne has a nice cosy in-door braai so we didn’t have to venture out into the cold. After a really great evening and restful sleep, the next morning I could not leave without first giving Jayden and Ethan a lift to school in Buddy.

Here Jayden and Ethan were getting settled into Buddy while I bid farewell to Ettienne and Chantell.

While warming up Buddy I heard a terrible grinding noise coming from Buddy’s alternator and panicked thinking that it might be that the alternator was running a bearing, but after Ettienne took me down to a local auto electrical place called ‘Moby’s Auto Electrical’ where the owner of the establishment, Mervin “Moby” got one of his staff, Riaan, to check it out, it was discovered that the problem was caused by gravel getting into the alternator, probably while driving on the gravel road to get to Antonio’s place in Hartswater, so at least that problem was solved. Riaan also solved the other problem which was the fact that the right rear trailer brake light wasn’t working and he discovered that the earth wire had come off.

 So Mervin ‘Moby’ (the big guy with the dark blue jacket) and Riaan you have mine and Buddy’s eternal thanks for sorting out Buddy’s and the trailers ailing health problems.

Before heading out of Vryburg I stopped off at Ettienne’s office to bid him a final farewell and he asked if I could give his brother in-law, Chantells’ brother, Shaun Twigge a lift to Delareyville because he was going to get a lift from there to Sun City where he was going to participate in a big golf tournament. During the journey I learnt that he is in matric and is a scratch golfer. He contacted me later during the weekend and gave me the fantastic news that he had won the tournament, so well done Shaun I knew you were going to win it.

So meet South Africa’s up-and-coming golf champion, Shaun Twigge, watch out Ernie and Tiger, you have some heavy competition knocking on your doors.

My next port of visit was to the Beares store which I always love visiting and that is Beares in Lichtenburg where they have what must be, if not the friendliest then definitely one of the friendliest, bunch of people I have ever had the privilege of meeting. One of the staff members at this store Carol Ann, made arrangements for me to stay over at the ‘Game Breeding Lodge’ which is a short way out of town where they breed all sorts of animals for game lodges around South Africa.

 The resort/lodge is a government/municipal run place, and it was really heart breaking to see the deterriation of the place since my last visit, but unfortunately this deterriation of ‘government / municipal’ resorts and lodges can be seen all over South Africa.

After a chat with the Beares staff

I headed for a local crèche/ nursery school where I got to meet a big bunch of kids and teachers

 

and after a member of the local constabulary had spoken to the kids about the different forms of child abuse, I was given the opportunity to chat to the teachers about the aims and goals I hope to achieve with the ‘Buddy and Me’ project.

I was then whisked away to the local radio station for an incredible interview with Theuns Wassermann of radio Lichtenburg 92.6 fm radio.

This interview generated an incredible reaction from the public who sms’d the station with some really heart touching words of encouragement, and following my one hour interview and while driving Buddy back to the Beares store, drivers were hooting and waving greetings to me and pedestrians on the side of the road were shouting and waving to me. I was also presented with a CD copy of the entire interview by the radio station.

During the interview and while taking an add and short news break, something was said on the news that every-time I hear it I can’t help wondering if maybe our police force is ignorant of the fact or if the definition of the word has changed, or if our legislation has changed, and so would truly like to have someone enlighten me to the following fact. I often hear on the news that someone has been charged for ‘murder’ when in an accident someone is killed as a result of the ‘accident’. According to my information, ‘murder’ is the premeditated, planned killing of another human being, the ‘accidental’ death of a human being in the case of a motor vehicle accident, is not ‘premeditated’ and can therefore not be construed as being ‘murder’ but is in-fact culpable homicide. Please correct me if I am wrong.

From Lichtenburg I headed for Mafeking where on arriving in yet another town that has deterriated to another dirty hovel of a town in South Africa, I immediately headed for the

Protea Hotel where I was generously and kindly hosted accommodation.

The next morning found “Buddy and Me’ paying a visit to the Beares store in Mafikeng where I spent some time with the store Manager Charlie Khumalo and his staff

 and then headed for the ‘Boikagong Child and Youth Care Centre’ which provides accommodation and support structure for children in need of care and protection and while chatting to the staff of the centre I couldn’t help thinking how bad the system is.

The centre is enclosed in a high ‘prison’ type fence with heavy security, and the fact that the kids in the centre are being cared for as in because they are victims of rape, physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect and abandonment and being locked up like prisoners totally floored me, especially when considering that the ‘parents’ who committed these atrocities against their children are left to continue their lives as normal, is mind boggling to say the least.

After a visit to the Beares store in Mmbatho, 12 kilometres away from Mafikeng

 I headed back to the Protea Mafikeng Hotel to thank the General Manager, Keletso Nxumalo and her staff for the fantastic accommodation they had so kindly provided me with.

 So meet Keletso (with the white blouse) and her friendly staff.

I was hoping to travel via Zeerust to drop off my trailer en-route to Jo’burg where I was scheduled to attend a meeting on child abuse, but I was told that the road was closed due to violent demonstrations in which cars were being burnt and motorists being stoned, so I left the trailer in Mafeking at the Beares store and travelled to Jo’burg via Lichtenburg, Ventersdorp and Krugersdorp. Fortunately petrol was available at all the filling stations I stopped at and there were a number of stops I made to do this because I tried to keep the tank full in case I could not obtain fuel in Jo’burg.

On arriving in Jo’burg I got settled in my lovely sponsored accommodation in the Protea Wanderers Hotel in Illovo, on Corlett Drive, opposite the Wanderers Cricket Stadium

and had a most enjoyable evening with a lady friend who I met on ‘face book’ recently by the name of June Porter, so to June, thank you for your friendship and company. I managed to squeeze in some quality time with a few friends which included amongst others Kevin Whitney of ‘Diversity Pub and Club’ in Steeldale

So that covers everything that happened in the lives of ‘Buddy and Me’ during the past week, and I just hope that petrol is going to be available for me to return to Mafikeng on Monday morning to collect my trailer and then continue on to Zeerust and forever northwards on the ‘Buddy and Me’ project.

So keep well, stay safe and of course keep all children safe’

Caring regards from

‘Buddy (The Beach Buggy)

And

Me’ (Steve Heath)

Please send comments and opinions to: steve@buddyandme.co.za

Please note that all comments and opinions on the ‘Buddy and Me’ website and blogs are those of Steve Heath and not those of the sponsors to the ‘Buddy and Me’ project.


Who Is Steve Heath
A Message To The President of South Africa.
Factors Contributing To The Increase In Child Rape.
A Proposed Solution To Stopping The Rape And Sexual Abuse Of Children in SA.

To watch Buddy and Me in real time click here, select South Africa under “Global Fleet Logins:” in the left hand panel, enter cellphone number 0822549129 and password Buddy.

To make a donation to or information on any of the organisations involved in assisting victims of child rape and abuse, please click on one of the following links:

Beares
Lubners
Bobbi Bear Foundation (KwaZulu-Natal)
The Teddy Bear Clinic (Gauteng)
The TygerBear Foundation (Western Cape)
GRIP (Mpumalanga)
StepThru (Gauteng)

  • To see the ‘Buddy and Me’ scheduled itinerary details for the period 14 June – 19th July 2011 see blog 34
  • To read the shocking details of the Upington horror story – The Hynie Dick Story – regarding the ‘Upington savage pedophile’ see blog 35
  • To read details of the ‘savage’ the police are looking for in connection with the rape of a 3 year little girl, see blog 39
  • To read the heart breaking story by a mother (Cathy Kenney) of the rape of  her 3 year-old daughter see blog 38
  • To read the shocking storey of the savage who raped and brutally murdered a 10 year-old little girl and the ‘State’ wants to release him after having only served a small portion of his sentence, see Blog 10 (November 2010)

 

I have dedicated blog 42 to the story of a young girl who was molested by a; what can you possibly call an individual???  who abuses the fact that a small child looked up to him as a father figure, and loved him as one, in-spite of the fact that he was not her biological father? I have also dedicated this blog to the mother, who after supporting her daughter through an agonizing experience, did what the law states; as in section 54 of ‘Act 32 /2007 Sexual Offences Act, which states that “Any person who is made aware of the fact that a child has been raped or molested, fails to report such rape to the authorities, is guilty of an offence”, was let down, by the system, badly. So to these two brave lady’s, all I can say is well done for your perseverance and bravery for what you did, and that I pray that one day, because it will happen, he will pay for what he did.

It is in circumstances like this, and because of savages like this, that I am embarrassed to refer to myself as a member of the male species.

 

So here isBirds’ story 

 

July 7, 2011

 Hi Steve

 Here is my letter.

This letter would have been used in court had Mr X been found guilty.

The justice system in this country just lets the victims down, and there really has not been enough done to help our children – that is why so many victims never speak out.

I hope this letter can be of some help. Anyone can feel free to contact me on 0723207542.

I’m just an ordinary white South African, but most importantly, I’m ‘Bird’s’ mummy and I love her very much. I can truly say that the Lord was with us every step of the way. My faith was put to the test and Psalm 121 was my hope in a hopeless day. The Lord gave us all the strength and courage we needed.

To my beautiful daughter I just want to say, “My darling, Mommy’s precious little ‘bird’. Fly and soar like an eagle. You are free and remember ‘the Lord will never leave you, nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5”.

The Court

Your Honour

 

Ref: ‘Bird’

On the 24th October 2009, seven months after Mr X left, ‘Bird’ told me that he had been molesting her from a young age.

I believed her immediately and I told her, “Mommy loves you and I’m so very, very sorry”.

 As ‘Birds’ mother, I cannot begin to tell you the terrible hurt I felt. My heart broke. I felt pain to the very core of my soul. I could not believe that this man that we loved, adored and respected was capable of such an evil deed! The betrayal was terrible. I never suspected anything – that he was capable of this vile act was the furthest thing from my mind. This very man! Before he left I still thanked him for everything he had done for me and my children.

Mr X came into our lives thirteen years ago when my two daughters were very small, 2 and 4 years old respectively. They loved him. To them he was their father.

All I could think of was to get ‘Bird’ professional help as soon as possible. I immediately moved her into another bedroom. It was as if I had to try to get her whole again – mend and heal her as soon as possible – this beautiful daughter of mine, shattered into a thousand pieces. Everything she had suppressed for so long to protect her family – ‘The Perfect Happy Family’ – came to the surface. ‘Bird’ also told me that she would never have told me while he was still living with us, or while he was still alive. She told me that she had the secret buried so deeply, she did not want the home broken and she did not want to cause me or her sister, heartache.

On Monday 26th October 2009, I arranged her first appointment. I blamed myself for letting this man into our lives. Without crying, the tears just ran and ran. No child should have to go through this. No mother should have to experience such hurt. In therapy I heard her crying, I heard her screaming. I felt her pain and anger. I also experienced fear. Who would believe us? Women don’t report rape. How could a child go through reporting this to the police and going to court? I wanted ‘Bird’ to report this crime, but it had to be her choice, and I wanted her to know and understand that whatever choice she made, I would support and stand by her, as hard and difficult as it was, it also had to be part of her healing. I’m glad she made the right choice. With all the prayers coming through, her strength and courage was remarkable. I am so very proud of her.

The emotional turmoil and upset we experienced as a family is indescribable. The stress and tension in everyday home life was difficult to deal with. I and my eldest daughter had to try and hide our feelings as best we could because we just wanted ‘Bird’ to heal. We gave her so much support and constantly reminded her of our love for her. We also kept telling her that it was not her fault – she was not to blame!

We were all traumatized. The tears in the home just never seemed to stop. Mr X had left broken lives behind him! My children and I became physically ill. ‘Bird’ was even hospitalized with Meningitis after the first court date was postponed.

I eventually told my mother who is 74 years of age. I had hoped to spare her this pain in her old age, but she knew that something was upsetting us. She did not deserve this hurt at her age.

My eldest daughter was writing Matric. She is still on medication to prevent the forming of a stomach ulcer – the result of stress our doctor suggests. I had problems sleeping and eating. I work for a large corporate bank where I deal with clients all day long. I battled to concentrate and my work performance suffered. I had to ask for time off, I had to apply for leave and many a day I worked through my lunch break so that I could stand by ‘Bird’ and give her support.

I was ridiculed by Mr X’s family – called a scorned woman and a liar. They accused my child of being a flirt. NO! I’m just ‘Birds’ mommy who experiences righteous anger towards the person who violated her body and soul. This incident was about ‘Bird’ no one else mattered. This was all about ‘Bird’, a child abused and in need of healing.

My children had a hard time at school and ‘Bird’s’ absenteeism became a problem. I made an appointment to see the Headmaster at Hoërskool  X. He told me “ Mevrou, ek bewonder ‘Bird’.  Ek is so trots op haar. My deur staan altyd oop vir ‘Bird’”. He also told me that the schools experience many such incidents, but that very few children are prepared to take it further. I was shocked! We worry about crime. There is more crime committed in our own homes than anywhere else.

Yes, ‘Bird’s is but a small voice, not only for herself, but for all the others, even those who are no longer with us. Our lives have all been affected by what ‘Bird’ went through over that seven- year period. The sadness and hurt will always remain with me. ‘Bird’ has been robbed of her Primary School years, her happy care-free years, her formative years and her childhood! How could she have possibly given consent at such a young age? How could she at such a young age have known what was right or wrong?

 

I truly hope that the Court takes all of this into consideration when passing sentence.

Mr X was privileged to have had my daughters’ love – the love daughters have for their father – and I am privileged and blessed to have a daughter like ‘Bird’. She was entrusted into my care and I have a duty to protect her, to love her and to stand by her!

Please find attached a letter that ‘Bird’ wrote to me when she started therapy.

Yours faithfully

Elise

Click to enlarge letter